So there is or might be a baby growing inside you....

I remember when I was just sixteen with a boyfriend and everything was going well for me. Then one day I noticed that my regular period had been absent for more than 2 months. It just hit me and I did not notice. Wondering if I might be pregnant with disbelief. Remembering this place I would pass by on my way to a friend's house called "Crisis Pregnancy" were they did free pregnancy tests and counseling. Well I went there and they did a pregnancy test that was negative. Outside of the facility stood my boyfriend and I relieved. I took his basketball and sat on it. He was happy and I too but there was this little nag that perhaps I should go to my pediatrician and check. So I told him that perhaps we should go to my doctor and have a look again. In the waiting room to the pediatric office as I waited to be called and told my fate mostly knowing they were going to say I was not pregnant it's were I sat, nostalgically remembering playing in that wonderful play room as a young child with the many fun activities and things...I now sat at 16 years old with a different concern. However it was not too much of a concern as I already knew I was not pregnant due to the one pregnancy test that was negative. I just wanted a 2nd opinion because of that nagging feeling I had.

The nurse called me in and had me sit in a room with my beloved long time pediatrician. Who sat directly in front of me with this compassionate look in her sweet eyes. She told me that I was pregnant. I froze. Time stood still. Everything was quiet . Very quiet. Just silence all around me. I took my cigarrettes from my pocket and threw them away and started to cry. I told her that the first test I had taken that day was negative. She explained that her test was accurate and that with pregnancy tests there are no false positives only false negatives. When a pregnancy test is positive it's because it has detected the HCG hormone that a woman produces when pregnant and it has to be at a level of 1600 for the test to detect it. Those levels are reached when the female  misses her first period. She spoke to me about 3 options...she spoke adoption, abortion...and keeping the baby at my age. I told her that I had to think about it. She said ok but to hurry as if I was going to abort the baby time was of the essence. I was in limbo. There was a baby inside my tummy. A real one. Not pretend, not a dream but real.

When I walked into the waiting room there was my boyfriend looking up at me expectantly and concerned. Hopeful that I was not pregnant concern....I just walked out of the clinic with out saying a word to him and he followed me. Right accross the street there was a division in the road that was big and grassy with pine trees. Well I went there. Got inside a pine tree and started crying and screaming for my mom and dad. That is I think when he realized I was pregnant....

As the day's passed I was staying with a school friend trying to figure out what I will do. I had not told my parents. The doctor's office kept calling my friend's house asking what I will do. I told them that I needed more time. They kept pressing that If I was to have a abortion then the clock was ticking and I needed to make a decision. 

I told them that I was not ready to make a decision.

Then I laid on my friend's bed looking up at her pink walls and a drawing of minnie mouse and I just started to cry all over again. A feeling of overwhelming sensation took me over. Something I was unfamilar with until I found out about my pregancy. My hand on my tummy and my thoughts were , " This is my baby." A protective feeling took me over. I had to protect my baby. So I did not give in to the pressure of abortion from my boyfriend and I told the doctor that I was keeping the baby. Then I called my mom and told her over the phone. She told me I was smart to call her from far away as now she could just quietly think about what I told her with out me being around. 

I was glad that she did not have a severe reaction as I was already nervous, unprepared and scared. However, I had a baby inside! A real one and it was mine! This baby depended on me for help and protection in every way possible. I knew that I loved it and that it loved me. I sang to it and read to it. Prepared by reading the baby books the doctor gave me. She also gave me tutorials on video. I was happy and scared because now my mom had to tell my dad. 

Darling girl that was almost 21 years ago. My little baby is now a beautiful, smart and kind young woman. Today I look back as I make this page for you to let you know it's going to be ok! That baby is ordained by God, made by God and in His divine image. That baby has a mission...a God given purpose in life and he or she is willing to leave the comforts of Heaven to fulfill God's magnificent plan. That baby is going to love you like no other on earth and know that you will love it more than you can imagine now. When the baby is born, along with it is born a different kind of love in you that far superceded your capacity to understand today.

Don't be scared rest assured that God is watchin you right now. There is a book called "The Soul's Remeberance" by Roy Mills. He talks about his memries of heaven before he came into earth. It's a true story and will give you an idea of what is happening all around you in The Heavens . Tell God your concerns and always end your prayers by saying , "In Jesus's Name, Amen."  So that your prayers reach God in Heaven. Know that I'm praying for you and that God has this situation handled.